Hello, lovely! I'm Shelby!
Mental health advocate. Avid therapy patient.
Let's take a quick trip through time. Two years ago, at the start of 2018, I was in the prime of my life, some would suggest. I was a junior in college. I'd just gotten promoted into my dream position in my desired field. I went through numerous interviews to get that job, and it was said that after a year of doing that, I could work wherever I wanted after graduation. (Pinch me, I'm dreaming!) I had a really solid group of friends who lived near my apartment and shared all of my interests. I was newly diving into classes I was passionate about; my pre-recs for my business degree were complete and I was diving into the good stuff, and I'd just picked up a journalism minor and was thriving in those courses.
Needless to say, I should've been the happiest I'd ever been. But behind the incredible job, thriving social life and overall satisfactory conditions in every realm in my life, I was struggling. It's so hard to articulate the feeling (which you may know) but I felt grey. I never felt true joy. The things I was doing were things I, in some ways, wanted to do, and always hoped to do. My life was idyllic, but that nagging grey cloud loomed over me.
You see, in the first two years of my college career, I had developed symptoms of a major depressive disorder and anxiety. Some of these symptoms are things we just overlook as typical feelings any college student may have. But eventually, I wasn't sleeping sometimes for days, or I was sleeping through things without any ability to get out of bed. My anxiety was overwhelming me to the point of multiple panic attacks per day. These, among every other symptom under the sun, made me the textbook definition of someone struggling with mental health conditions that needed to be treated.
So, all that to say, when I "came out of it" and everything was peachy from the outside, I figured I was healed! The gloom had passed during bouts of self medicating and denial, despite doing no work and seeking no counsel to solve these deeply engrained mental battles I was facing. I didn't have the time. I didn't have the insurance. I had a master plan to power through, party my troubles away, and glide through life feeling grey and down. Life's tough, right? This is how I was supposed to feel.
In 2018, I hit the wall. It was the end of January. I'd slept through a few days of classes, I went back to my hometown sobbing that I couldn't carry on this way, and then tearfully headed back up to college with a sinking feeling that this would literally kill me. On that Monday morning, I skipped my classes. I walked into my counselor's office to discuss dropping out, and how seemingly hopeless my future would be in doing so. I went to the financial department to talk about how to uphold my scholarships, and what my options were as far as taking time off would go. I found my bosses and quit my job, telling them I didn't want to continue training for my new role because I was leaving. I went into peoples' offices, sobbed, and then got in my car and drove home. I returned home to angry parents, confused family members, and no idea what I was doing.
I found a way to stay enrolled in school from home to keep my scholarships and continue my education. I moved in with some family members and spent a few weeks in their loft, sleeping the days away and turning in my assignments at the last minute. I spent all of my waking hours crying.
I also spent a lot of time looking for medical support. I had state insurance, and anyone with a similar insurance plan knows that therapy isn't something they cover most of the time. I spent hours fighting with insurance. I spent hours seeking a community mental health clinic to obtain a psychiatrist. And then, on one very defeated day, I decided that I would never get the help I needed, that life would always be this unbearably shitty, and I called my mom to tell her I was going to take my own life.
Clearly, and thankfully, that's not where my story ended. My family heard the hopelessness in my voice, took it to heart, and helped me in every way they could. It still took a long while to find the support I needed, but I found it. Fights with insurance were still as frequent, but loopholes were revealed. And, here we are two years later, and I'm a college graduate living in another state and beginning a whole new life.
If you've made it this far, please know: I am seriously so happy you're here! I want this to be a one stop shop for you, my friend. Need to know where to start the therapist search process? I've got you. Low-cost solutions for diagnoses and meds? I've got it. I was researching in between panic attacks, and I never want someone to have to experience what I went through. It's really hard to find the desire to argue with insurance companies and doctor's offices when you don't even want to brush your teeth. I can't promise I'll have all of the answers, but I want to give you a jumping off point. I got lucky and ended up receiving a lot of emotional support, counsel of amazing people, and sufficient funds. But I know those aren't a given, and I want to support you the best I can.
Beyond that, I have come to love life. I'm so thankful I'm here. Boy, that feels good to say! But it took a serious amount of work, dedication, and shifting in almost every facet of my life. I now live for motivational quotes, self-growth books, and everything mental health.
I am not a mental health professional. I am no expert. But I am someone who has seen the darkest corners of some mental health struggles. I've lived it. I can promise you, any of the posts you find here include methods, recommendations, or advice that have gotten me to where I am today. I wouldn't recommend it to you without verification that it works!
I started Unlimited with one primary goal: to share the things that light a fire in me with others. The internet has become quite a scrambled mess of negativity, which can really be a nightmare when you're struggling with any mental health, mindset, or spiritual issues. So, if you're seeking a therapist, I want to be here. If you're mentally sound and just need some kind of inspiration on your job search, I want to be here. The journey to our best selves has so many different stages and I want to be able to provide in the thick of things, and when you've come out on the other side.
The opportunity for a better today, and a brighter tomorrow, are truly unlimited.
